The Womb of Time

Man, Americans especially, is obsessed with Time. Have you ever stopped to think about it? It consumes our world! We’re always running about like chickens without heads, ranting and raving, “I don’t have time,” “I’m running out of time,” “Time is money,” “I’ll have to find time to…” “I need to spend time…” “Next time I’ll” “I’ve got a lot of time,” “There’s no time…” When you think about it, most of our expressions, conversations, thoughts, activities all revolve around this dimension called Time.

And what about our concept of it? We feel trapped by it, condemned by it, blessed by it, propelled by it, controlled by it. Time monitors our paycheck, orders our day, looms over us with deadlines, annoys us with “moral” obligations, and laughs at us with age. Time is everything to us.

But, is our perception of Time really a proper conception of it? Do we elevate its power and dignity far above its original intention to that of when it was first given to us at the dawn of Creation?

“And there was evening and there was morning, the first day…” (Gen. 1:4)

We feel as if Time is the end all be all – we only have a short amount of Time on this earth, therefore, we must spend it well, live it to the fullest, accomplish all we can within this vapor called life. However, Time was never meant to be our lord to rule over us, though it is certainly a guide. Time is merely a seamless transitional state that is a part of eternity, separating us from the eternal until our birthing day into that timeless realm.

Consider the miracle of pregnancy. In the center of the womb, a new life is formed, growing, multiplying, forming. Unbeknownst to this little one’s knowledge, he is on a “Time Clock” – a 33-38 week period of growth, in which he will continue to fill out this small space of darkness, in which he was conceived, until his time of exit arrives. And so, he grows, exists, thrives in his own little world, completely separated from the world outside. And still, throughout his gestation, he hears muffled sounds, sounds that penetrate that wall of flesh, sounds, which he cannot comprehend, but sounds, to which he listens as they enter into his world. In addition, he feels the vibrations emanating from the outer world that make their way into the one, in which he lives. Sometimes there’s a light that penetrates his blanket of darkness, a light he does not readily receive, and attempts to avoid (the light of cameras and sonograms). This is his world, simple, confined, dark, and brief.

Take a step outside the womb, and you have the world, of which he will soon be apart. You have the mother, living her life normally, eating, exercising, working, and preparing the nursery with all kinds of colors, lights, sounds, the same sounds her child hears, but in full volume, sharp, clear, piercingly whole. She purchases toys, baby food, books, DVDs, and clothes as she readies the home for when her new babe exits his world and enters this new one. Then, there’s the father, excited, and greatly anticipatory, who pats her stomach, speaks to the little one on the other side of the womb’s encompassment, sending his own sounds, to which the baby jumps and kicks. This father also lives his life full of responsibilities, adventures, relationships, business highs and lows, all the while waiting for the birth of his son.

On occasion, mother and father take a moment to see their son through the sonogram: watching his movements, laughing at his expressions as he scrunches his face at this light that invaded his comfortable darkness. They see everything about this new life; things he does not even see about himself. They long to hold him, touch him, but are happy to wait until he is ready, ready and “ripened” to depart THAT world and come into this one.

Do you think that baby has any concept of the life on the other side of the mother’s stomach? Can he possibly grasp the world of lights, colors, sights, and sounds that are so much more BEYOND his world in the womb? Yet, even so, is he not part of that outside world? He may be separated from it, yes, but only by the flesh of his mother’s skin and tissue; is he still not apart of it, living in it within the walls of the womb?

So it is with Time and Eternity. While we are “locked” in Time, we are growing, forming, developing, getting ready for the life on the other side of the womb. Moreover, this life of Time is dark, small, and quiet. At times, however, we hear the faint muffled sounds of something more, beyond our comprehension, but we know it is there. It is the muffled sound of our Father’s voice, speaking to our hearts with endless love and anticipation of reunion. Perhaps, we may see a light that penetrates our darkness on occasion, a light we’re not too sure we like, since it is so different from our shadowy world, to which we are accustomed. And yet, we’re drawn to it, something about it seems familiar. They are the visions and dreams sent from Above, the “rhemas” of Truth revealed to us by the Spirit

Our Father looks at us from beyond the Womb: He sees our formation, laughs at our expressions as we attempt to “handle” the different small inconveniences that approach us in our tiny encasement. Meanwhile, the Father prepares our own nursery, gathering the items, activities, books, and feasts together, all in preparation of OUR birthing day, the day we leave our short Gestation of Time, and burst into the New Life of Eternity, for which we were formed.

We are only separated from that Eternal realm by the barrier of the Womb, a Womb, in which we would hope to remain only until our growth is complete. Everything that we face during this Gestation of Time – it’s all in preparation of the new life, for which we were intended. But like a baby, who dies to the world of his mother’s womb, and in birthed naked into this new world of Time, so we too will have to leave everything in THIS Womb, and be birthed with only ourselves on the other side of Time’s veil.

“Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart…may the Name of the LORD be praised.” (Job 1:21)

But just like a baby has his complete body, fully developed and ready for the start of a new life, so we will take with us OUR spiritual development, fully readied to enter into that new life of Eternity, for which we were conceived.

Time is not our master, Time is our Womb, and when we have fully developed, we will birth into the Eternal realm, for which we were made.

“For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made…. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.” (Ps. 139:13-16)

Trust God and “Walk on Water”

(This is the second devo I wrote for the church project)

“‘Lord, if it’s You,’ Peter replied, ‘tell me to come to You on the water.’ ‘Come,’ He said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.’” (Matt. 14:28-29)

“Jump! I’ll catch you!” Stacey was standing on the edge of the kiddy pool, her floaties tightly wrapped around her pudgy arms, her toes gripping the tile that lined the pool’s border. There was her Daddy, wading in the shallow water, not 3 feet from her. He smiled up at her beckoning her to trust him, jump in, the water’s warm, the sun is bright; she’d have fun! But this was Stacy’s first time to go swimming, and she wasn’t so sure…what if Daddy didn’t catch her? Would the water hurt? What if her floaties didn’t work? She bit her lip, eyes wide, brows furrowed, she tried to figure out what to do next, wanting to be with Daddy, but scared that the water would get her first…

Like Stacey, we will have times in our lives when we are called by our Father to do something new, something out of our comfort zones, and something that will force us to trust Him. But these new things are not always exciting: “what if?” becomes the name of the game: “What if I fail? What if I’m rejected? What if I lose money? What if I get hurt?” We grapple with God, wanting to do what He says, but not sure if what He’s asking us to do is worth the risk.

It’s all a matter of trust. Do we trust Him enough to know that He will catch us? Do we believe He would never call us to something for our harm, but only for our ultimate good? Sadly, most of us don’t. Our “what ifs” win the day; we take off our floaties, run back to the picnic table, and wait until it’s time to go home, satisfied that we narrowly escaped a certain disaster.

While some “what ifs” might be legitimate concerns, in the end, they only keep us from moving forward, preventing us from doing the wonderful things God intended for us to do with Him; thus, we miss an incredible opportunity to join God in something spectacular.

Look at what happened to the disciples. In the passage above, Jesus was seen doing something new, exciting, miraculous– He was walking on water! All of the disciples had an opportunity to join Him in this new endeavor, but only one took the chance. As a result, only one walked on water, experiencing a miracle in the company of his Master.

How about you? Do you trust God enough to jump when He beckons you? If He called you to do the impossible, will you step out of the boat, or will you allow the “what ifs” to convince you otherwise? Those, who trust their Father, will swim with Him; those, who trust their Lord, will walk with Him on water.

Trusting God When Life Hurts Most

(I have been asked to write a couple of devotionals for our church; this is one of the devos I wrote on the subject of "Trust." Enjoy!)

“Lazarus was sick…so the sisters sent word to Jesus…On His arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been (dead) for four days. When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet Him, but Mary stayed at home.” (Jn. 11:1, 3, 17, & 20)

They were Jesus’s close friends; Martha, Mary, Lazarus; they had all spent a lot of time together. Jesus loved going to their house, a place He could relax and enjoy their company as He rested from the grind of ministry. These were His friends, a family He loved; and yet, when they needed Him the most…He never came.

Mary was distraught. She had trusted Jesus; when she sent for Him, she thought surely He would come quickly and heal her brother, just as He healed everyone else; but instead, Jesus took His time while Lazarus’s illness took his life. “Didn’t He understand? Was my message not urgent enough? I trusted Him! I loved Him! How could He have let my brother DIE?!” Jesus did finally arrive, and Mary refused to see Him…

What do you do when the nightmare comes true? The eviction notice arrives; she was having an affair; the cancer spread; your daughter was in that wreck; your son calls you from prison? How can you trust a God, Who claims to love you, One, you’ve served faithfully, prayed to diligently, and believed in fervently, and then dares to let your life crumble around you?

We all experience times when life hits us with ruthless force, and the things we used to believe about God are shattered by our “real” reality. We find it difficult to pray, and it almost seems worthless to do the things we used to do, go to church, walk in love, tithe, after all what’s the point? What’s the point of doing all these things if they don’t protect you from life’s pain?

THIS is where trust begins. Trust is fashioned in the fires of heartache, perfected in the agony of affliction; it is birthed in the excruciating effort it takes to keep believing God when everything in you wants to quit. Trusting God surrenders to the process of pain in faith that God is still the same, and will be with us in the suffering.

Jesus wasn’t there to answer Mary’s prayer like she wanted Him to, but He was there to be with her in her pain. It is true for us today. The same God, Who brought you the man of your dreams, is the One, Who will also carry you through the divorce. The God, Who blessed you with the pregnancy, is the same One, Who will be with you as you miscarry. God may not prevent the pain or the loss, and He may not answer us the way we want Him to, but we can trust that, no matter what happens, He will be with us, loving us, even when life hurts most.

Before the Morning...

“God says to you THIS day: “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?”* The new day is coming! “Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon you.”** God’s word will be fulfilled in YOUR LIFE!!!”

I sat there, listening to the CD of a past sermon from our church. There were hoots and hollers in the congregation from other saints, who were, likewise, receiving an encouraging word from the Lord; my voice was among them. You know how that can be – the preacher speaks on a topic, reads some passages – and then the Spirit downloads something to you personally, one that resonates with your spirit and speaks to your situation. This was no exception. The words were being read; a passage being spoken on the coming new day: the breakthrough is “just around the corner,” and the congregation was going crazy. I remember being apart of its jubilation: the Lord was speaking to me! Yes! I knew it was coming; my new day was just around the next bend! I could smell it, taste it; the breakthrough is mine! I receive it! Praise God! The sermon finished, I pressed eject on my CD player. I had heard the sermon before, and though at the time it was given, I was invigorated by the promise from God for the “new day” dawning…now, I winced. Shortly after the new day’s promise on that Sunday morning, my life had taken a turn into a long dark season of night…

It’s not that I was discouraged, or doubtful. I believed the word WAS real, that the promise of the new day WOULD come to pass…but now, I realized that, when the promise of the new day is made, darkness irrevocably follows. Why? Because, in God’s time table – the day begins in the evening, to separate from the previous day, and prepare for the new day:

“And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.” (Gen. 1:5)

In the Jewish calendar, a new day begins at the sunSET of the previous day! In other words, the next day’s start is in darkness, before the light emerges. But we never think about it that way. For us, the new day is equivalent with the light dawning; new days mean “sunRISE” to us…and this is also true – the sunrise is the fulfillment of the promise; the consummation of a new day. Dawn is the manifestation or birth of the promise, but it only comes AFTER the preparation and development cultivated during the dark night.

On God’s time table, every word, every promise, every creation begins in darkness before it is brought to the light. For Creation, the world was in darkness and a void, then, it burst into light. For the child, he is first fashioned in the secret darkness of the womb before he is birthed into light. For the flower, its seed must be planted deep into the darkness of the earth, before it sprouts into the light of the sun. Likewise, whatever God has promised you, whatever prophetic vision He has placed in your heart for your life, it must be fashioned and molded in the darkness of your soul and circumstances before it can spring forth into the light of your life.

So why does the Lord give us these promises of “new days” dawning, when really, we will be seeing darkness first? Because, to God, there is no power in the darkness!

“(Jesus) having disarmed the powers and authorities, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.” (Col. 2:15).

"Death has been swallowed up in victory." (1 Cor. 15:54)

The darkness is only a miniscule detail that is necessary in order to produce the beauty and wonder of the light. For us, it is the light at the end of the tunnel that keeps us going; that helps us “hang on” to overcome and receive the reward at the end of the course. It is the assurance that God’s Word is true, and even though the darkness tarries, we can wait for the fulfillment of that Word, knowing that the light WILL dawn at the end of the long night.

“For the (promise) awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.” (Hab. 2:3)

Do not be disillusioned if you feel that your promise from God seems to have been a mistake. If your circumstances say “night” – rest assured, you are in the position of birthing a new day. The day is coming; it always dawns after the death of the previous day. Darkness IS the beginning of the day, and at the fullness of time, the dawn will be born in light.

You are my lamp, O LORD; the LORD turns my darkness into light.” (2 Sam. 22:29)




*(Isa. 43:19)
**(Isa. 60:1)

Pressure's On

Tears were streaming down my cheeks; my eyes red, and face flushed, I clinched my jaw, grinding my teeth as my last ditch effort to keep my mouth shut. I was so tired, so agitated, wondering why in the world I was doing this thing that I so disliked. I wanted to say it; everything in me, the frustration, the heartache, the pit in my stomach, screamed at me to release one phrase, one word to express my truest feelings of this particular moment, of this particular “duty”…my mouth cracked open, and deeply inhaled, I managed to say, “I ha…”but instead of the word, a wail replaced it as it crossed my lips; sobbing ensued, but without the curse to accompany it…I won again, narrowly escaping the temptation to libel the very thing God had led me to do…

Have you ever felt called to do something, something you were excited about on the one hand, but nervous about on the next, and once you started it, you quickly wondered why in the world you were doing it? After all, you really DON’T like it, the ins and outs of all the duties, deadlines, assignments, whatever, it all builds up to a towering mountain of disdain, and everything in you wants to quit, wants to give in, maybe I was wrong, see ya! End of story; missed God, that was a mistake…

And sometimes you’d be right. There are times, when we feel led by God to do something, whether it’s go back to school, start a new job, or even enter into a dating relationship, and we’re in it a little while and all of a sudden, we realize we do NOT like what we’re doing, and that our “call” was a wide miss. In times like this, you shake the dust off your feet and move on.

But there are other times when, you know God has led you into it. You weighed and measured the costs and benefits of this decision, this job, this degree/certification, this relationship: you knew what you were getting into, kind of, and you knew that God was calling you to it. And, if God calls you, it’s better to walk in the hardship of obedience with a little suffering, than the ease of disobedience with a lot of it.

So – you say “yes” to this new position, new contract, new calling, and you get into it, and suddenly, the pressure’s on! The costs are way outweighing the benefits now, you become engulfed in deadlines, conflict management dilemmas, endless phone calls, administrative mayhem, dealing with petty offenses, familial responsibilities, on and on, the negatives of your new calling/position pile up up up until you can no longer see beyond them. The feelings of hate, frustration, and anxiety hit you like a slap of a tidal wave. You fight the urge to quit, to give in, to scream with all your might: “I HATE THIS!!!!”

But there’s the problem. The enemy wants you to curse your position, wants you to release your anger on the situation; he wants you to badmouth, complain, criticize, do everything he says about you to the very thing the God of glory asked you to do…

“The power of life and death are in the tongue…” (Prov. 19:21)

The power of life and death are in our tongues! If we curse it, it will be cursed. By articulating those feelings, we bring us that much closer to aborting our path of obedience, that much closer to preventing God’s purposes from coming to pass in our lives. And this is what the enemy wants. He wants us out of the will of God, wants us to quit, to choose mediocrity, to forfeit our place on the narrow road…and he typically begins applying his hardest pressure just before the birth of a breakthrough.

“The dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth, so that he might devour her child the moment it was born.” (Rev. 12:4)

Just as the enemy was waiting for the woman to give birth, knowing that a new life was forming, so the enemy waits on us, seeing when our time for delivery is at hand…and he prowls, roaring and seething, intimidating us, wearing us down, throwing out everything he can muster in order to get us to abort the process and forego our breakthrough.

He can’t compete with God’s promises from God’s end, but he can get us off track on ours. This was the battle I faced with this new thing in my life. It was apparent God had called me into it; I was supposed to proceed, even if there were things about it I didn’t like. But suddenly, a few weeks into, I became entrenched in all the negativities, related to this responsibility, and everything in me struggled to persevere, to keep going, to NOT say what I wanted to say, to refrain from articulating what I was feeling…and then it dawned on me…something was just ahead.

Why else would the enemy work so hard on getting me all uptight and frustrated? Why else, would he be so relentless in dashing my head with thoughts and emotions of how much I despised the opportunity afforded to me? Why else was it so hard to see the good in it, the very reasons I was called to do it? It must mean…I’m almost to the other side! Something in this situation is about to bring forth a new life, a life, which God wants me to have and enjoy…and the enemy wishes to steal. I have to stick with it! I have to bless it! I have to persevere! If I submit to God’s will to do this, and I resist the devil’s temptations to use my lips as his mouthpiece of death, then the devil WILL flee (ref. Jms. 4:7) and the good thing, which the Lord promised me, will shortly come to pass.

I’m not there yet; I’m still in the resisting stage; but I know that good things are coming, and until then, I will rejoice in the Lord always.

“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.” (Hab. 3:17-18, emphasis mine)

The Cry that Heaven Heard

It was a humid, pleasantly warm early summer morning. The skies were gray, heavy, threatening with rain. The birds were quieter, some chirping, but it was mostly a calm, contemplative morning. I had just finished my “Breakfast with Jesus” upstairs when suddenly, the peace of this morning was broken by a frantic chorus of barking and yelping, the racket coming from downstairs. I quickly arose from my desk, heading down the stairs with a quicker step to discover what in the world was going on with my dogs to cause such a ruckus. I came to the stairwell and stopped: there they were – standing steadfast, alert, and all in uproar, staring out the window of the backdoor. “What is wrong with you guys?!” They barely acknowledged my presence, panicking at something beyond the glass of their “barrier.”

I peered out the window, looking all over the backyard to see what could have startled my little “noise alarms” so (for they do insist on barking at every noise imaginable). After a quick perusal, there! At the foot of one of our trees, I saw a most curious sight. Not desiring to allow the dogs through the backdoor (and possibly interfere with what I had seen), I went around the house to exit through the other backdoor so that I could further investigate the drama I thought I had witnessed. I cautiously approached the tree, and saw before me two squirrels, both on the ground, in a bizarre entanglement. One was obviously a youngling, small, trembling, frozen with his feet planted on the ground, as if he had fallen from the nest and dared not move from his position. The other was a large, full grown male, and by the looks of it, was aggressive, ornery, and domineering. I initially assumed that the larger squirrel was there to assist the baby back up the tree and return it to the safety of the nest. But as I watched, it became evident that help was NOT this squirrel’s agenda. I was astonished by this larger male’s behavior. The baby squirrel showed it was fully capable of climbing the tree on its own, attempting to climb up the trunk numerous times. However, every attempt he made was thwarted by the larger squirrel. No sooner would the baby climb a few feet up the trunk, then the male reach up, grab his hind legs, and roughly pull him back down, then hover over him and press him into the ground.

While this debacle was underway, I heard a clatter and swishing of leaves from the branch above me. Another squirrel, I assumed it was the mother, began to descend upon the scene, my guess was to come to the aid of this younger victim. The larger male, however, scurried right up, pushing and thrashing mother about, until he chased her away.

Meanwhile, the baby made his way up the trunk of the tree some more and even reached one of the lower branches, but he did not get far; the male, returning from his distraction, came right up to the babe and pulled it down, down, down, to the ground, resuming his bullying.

I was repulsed! The baby was terrified; eyes wide, not strong enough to defend himself, forced to be the recipient to relentless punches and tugs. Every time he tried his hardest to get up the tree, the bigger, stronger, faster squirrel would knock him right back down. Moreover, the mother was helpless to come to her baby’s aid. Every time she returned, she was thrashed and driven away, prevented from doing the very thing her mother instincts were telling her to do.

I didn’t know what to do. I felt as helpless as the baby squirrel, wanting to do something, but not knowing what! I knew squirrels were aggressively protective of their little ones, but I had NEVER heard of a squirrel being aggressively antagonistic towards them! Should I interfere? How? Would the male attack me? What about the mother? In my sincerity to assist, I might be viewed as another enemy!

I did the only thing I knew to do – I prayed. I prayed for the protection of the baby, for the strength of his mother, and for the dispersement of the male bully. The drama continued for several minutes. The mother would come down only to be chased off by the male, and the baby would climb up just so high, only to be knocked down to the ground under further abuse.

In resignation, I began to back away, when, a remarkable thing happened. As the male was making another advance, the baby faced him head on, lifted his head, laid back his ears, opened his tiny mouth and (((((((SCREEEEEECH)))))))) He screamed! High, loud, piercing. The male jumped back, confused and bewildered. He stood there, blinking a minute, astonished that such a loud noise could come from such a weak and docile source. He began his approach again, and the baby opened his mouth, ((((((SCREEEEEECH))))). The male squirrel was stumped. He did not leave, but he did not approach either. Suddenly, I heard a thunder of pattering on the roof, and swishing through the trees. Then, ((((SWISH SWISH, CHEEP CHEEP CHEEEP, SCRATCH SCRATCH, CLATTER, CLATTER)))) the tree was shaking, swaying, leaves ripping, twigs cracking, a whirlwind of five or six squirrels came swirling toward the male aggressor! Within in moments the male and the other squirrels vanished in a clamor, into the trees, and over the roof, living the little one alone on the ground. For a few moments, the baby squirrel just sat there, waiting, pensive, eyes wide. Then, pointedly, steadily, it reached for the trunk of the tree, and climbed up, up, up, right back to its nest.

I was amazed! Though far weaker than his assailant, the baby squirrel had a powerful ally – the screech of his voice, which called his family to his rescue.

I couldn’t help but reflect upon the parallel of what we have in Jesus Christ.

“In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From His temple He heard my voice; my cry came before Him, into His ears…He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me.” (Ps. 18:6; 17)

When the baby squirrel was silent, the domineering male was all over him. Pushing him around, keeping him pinned to the ground. Every effort to right himself was quickly frustrated by the rambunctious bullying of the stronger animal. But when he called for help, the tables were turned where the assailant became the victim, and the baby was rescued from his pursuer.

In this life, we will be confronted with all types of trials and struggles, inevitable misfortunes prevalent in this life. These tribulations knock us “out of our nests” of comfort and ease, and force us to make the decision to either get up again, or surrender to defeat. THIS is when the battle is waged, for the enemy, lurking around like a lion, waits for an opportunity to leap upon us in our weakened state, endeavoring to keep us down, pestering us with guilt, shame, despair, depression, aiming to subdue us in the bondage of defeat. Sadly, we let him do it, keeping our mouths shut, agreeing with his words as if they were our own, thereby, allowing his assaults to continue. Our efforts to “get back on our feet” are half-hearted and short-lived, falling prey to his assaults, which come in full-force at such times, he menacingly feeding our insecurities and fears, while we succumb to his badgering his words were truth. Our despondency grows increasingly oppressive, so much so that even our friends’, family’s, and neighbors’ attempts to cheer us or assist us, fall on deaf ears – we refuse comfort or aid because of the thick fog enveloping us, an immense veil of the enemy’s attacks, influencing us to believe that either we do not deserve any help, or do not desire it.

It’s a long vicious cycle, down, down, into a black hole of despair with no relief, no release…but there IS a way out of this vortex of gloom. The name of Jesus!

“At the name of Jesus, every knee shall bow, and every tongue confess, that JESUS IS LORD!” (ref. Phil. 2:10-11 emphasis mine)

Jesus’s name is above every name, throwing the darkest demons into the deepest pits of hell, dispersing the thickest fogs into the furthest oblivions, walloping the harshest bullies to kingdom come! We call on His name, and the enemy must flee! (ref. Jms. 4:7). Jesus will come to us, leaving the throne of heaven, with smoke billowing from His nostrils, His lighting bolts splitting the canopies, His rage crushing the mountains, charging into the fray to rescue His beloved from the mouth of the lion (ref. Ps. 18:6-19).

The baby squirrel eventually made his way back into the nest, from which he came, but only AFTER his enemy had been put away by the cry of his voice. So we, too, will be restored to our proper placement, and we will get back up on our feet, but only after we cry out to the Lord, Who will put away our enemy, saving us from his vicious snare.

“The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles.” (Ps. 34:17)

I Feel Like Writing (A Writer's Pledge)

I feel like writing – but sometimes, when you don’t have anything to write, it makes it difficult TO write. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that there isn’t anything worth writing out there, but my dilemma is not about creative writing; it’s not about writing something for my benefit, or for the benefit of someone’s gossip interest or innocent interest – my dilemma when it comes to writing is more about “purposeful” writing – does it “feed” the person reading it? Because, honestly, if my words don’t speak to you, don’t minister to your spirit, don’t relate to you, or help you, or jog your inward thoughts and contemplations about who you are and what you’re going through, then my words mean nothing – they serve nothing, they’re worthless jabbering in the still air, that hit dead weight into the abyss of pointlessness with a sickening thud.

I don’t want to be that kind of writer. I don’t want to be the writer that likes to hear himself talk, or delights in his own “genius,” which, quite frankly, is closer to folly than the “genius” of the mentally impaired – no one who is mortal has anything truly intelligent to say unless is was first inspired by the One, who created intelligence, wisdom, and novelty. It is for this One that I write, my dreams of being His mouthpiece – to speak to the masses true intelligence, comfort, relativity, wisdom, joy, and retrospection – the essence of all of these factors begins and ends in the Beginning and the End of humanity.

But people don’t feel as if He is something (and I mean “thing” because people periodically have a hard time thinking of God as a Someone – yes – even the devout Christians have their doubts) that can be touched, can be spoken “with” (much less “to”), or related to. Such has been the debacle since the beginning of the life of Man, following the Fall – why else would He have to make Himself a human? It was so we would know that we know that we know without a doubt that He can and does relate to us on every level there is. Having created a human being, then becoming one – let’s just say – He knows how we tick, inwards and outwards.

But to be His mouthpiece – a type of Christ to others, since Christ was His way of touching us through the glove of a human body and mortal auspices – to be a reference point of Truth to others – this is what I strive to be! I don’t want to talk your ear off with words that bear little weight or meaning – I don’t want to say something that you can’t take with you that could help change your life, even if it is just in a small way.

Do I infer that my words have such a power or ability? By no means – but the Spirit using them – therein lies the secret to such a query. I write His words with the best of my limited human ability, and then you hear His words through your limited human understanding – but it is the Spirit, working inside your heart that takes the words and relays them to a particular issue, place, element in your personage – and ministers ointment and salve to that area – THIS is where the true magic of being God’s vessel lies. The resonance in your spirit with some word or thought that mine spoke – the true mystery of the workings of the Spirit, using His mouthpiece as His salve to wash over the area in your heart…and not just yours, but the others that read my writings as well. The exponentially wide margin of varying hurts, questions, circumstances, imaginings – the Spirit is no stranger to understanding what medicine is needed for what ailment…and His “magic pill” is comfort through the use of words…

Could I write His words that become such a medical ecstasy? It’s what I strive to do. With every letter typed, every stroke of pen, every articulation through the use of man’s writing utensils – my desire is to present “life” to the reader through the words that enter into his eyes and the inner workings of his brain and heart – a privilege and miracle only God can ensure and create, but with a willing partner in this pursuit, He can do more than we could possibly imagine.

Written with minimal to no editing
(Other than spelling and typo corrections, one word replaced);
All within the time frame of 10 min.

Divine Incubation

Have you ever felt that your life has been on pause, while others’ are on “fast-forward”? It can seem that way, when you’re faced with the same mountain you can’t seem to surmount, or the same nightmare you can’t seem to awaken from – the longer you climb, the higher the peak of the summit; the longer the night, the worse the nightmare becomes. Will this ever end, you ask? Others’ lives seem to have gone ahead; new exploits keep coming their way, new situations, changes – they’ve reinvented themselves over and over and over again – you almost can’t recognize them. But you – you seem to be right in the thick of your old woods – the ones you entered so long ago, with the hope of getting through them, at least –this is what the encouragement was at the beginning of it, right? Every time life hits us in the face with a horror, we’re told (and tell ourselves for assurance) – it won’t last forever; there is a light at the end of the tunnel – there is another side to this labyrinth of a forest…and as the weeks turn to months, months to years, your feet are aching as you trudge forward through the thicket, straining to see the end of it…but wait, haven’t I seen that tree before? That patch of grass looks familiar…Am I going in circles?

I wonder what Joseph was thinking when he was in that prison cell so many years. The cupbearer, who had received his assistance, had been exonerated and redeemed…and Joseph, completely forgotten, lost in the thick of his “forest” in that dark, damp corridor of Egyptian filth. Prisoners in and out, officers come and go, and Joseph, with a fading dream in his heart, stuck; life on pause, on an endless climb to the topless insurmountable “summit” of his trial.

“But while Joseph was there in the prison, the LORD was with him…and gave him success in whatever he did.” (Gen. 39:20;23)

Imagine that! While Joseph climbed that mountain without an apex, he was not alone – the LORD was climbing it with him! The Lord of Hosts, the Everlasting Father, the Creator of the Universe, the Word that Speaks and it is so – was WITH Joseph to climb that mountain without a summit, and to conquer that, which was unconquerable! Just imagine – the One Who IS, and because He IS, other things come into being – His mere Presence shapes the atmosphere, in which He dwells! The Light in the Darkness – that shatters the impenetrable and recreates it into something it never was! The Hope of the Hopeless, the Shedder of a red Blood that washes and cleans the blackest of black into the purest white! The Rainbow Painter, Who’s imagination has not limitation – Who can speak into YOUR situation and transform its bitterness into sweet honey! Can you imagine that Ally, walking with you through YOUR labyrinth?

How do you know when the Invisible One is with you in your darkest hour and in your most desperate moment of need? For Joseph – with life on pause, he was still increasing. How? He was fashioned and educated in the Egyptian arts and sciences – learning the system and academia of the most powerful and wealthiest empire in the known world! He was gifted in administration and leadership, and allowed to hone and sharpen that gift in two separate organizations on the opposite ends of the sociological and cultural spectrum, learning to use all aspects of varying resources, situations, caste systems, and people groups. All of this training was going somewhere, even if he himself was going “nowhere.” His “paused” life, though motionless on the surface, was not a “still frame” on destiny, not imprisonment on his purpose – rather, it was his “divine incubation.” The Incubator, Who accompanied him through the entire nightmare, was up to something spectacular, that even the dreamer himself couldn’t have dreamed.

And finally, FINALLY, when the time was ripe –

“Thus (Pharaoh) put (Joseph) in charge of the whole land of Egypt.” (Gen. 40:41)

In the briefest of moments, SUDDENLY! A new reality was born! The topless mountain became the floor, and the nightmare gave way to a new day. It was over – the forest cleared, the labyrinth passed, and there, on the other side of terror, was the life, for which the hike up the mountain and the walk through the forest prepared the traveler to live…HIS life to really LIVE! All the while his life was on pause, Joseph was being made ready, incubated, fashioned, equipped to SEIZE and CONQUER a life that the Author had written for him to enjoy since the beginning of time! Joseph’s pause transformed him into a ruler destined to literally rule the known world for the rest of his life on this earth! Wow. What a pause was his!

Imagine what your “pause” is accomplishing for you now? Yes – life is moving along for others around you, and your nightmare is steadfast and unshakeable, that labyrinth incessantly suffocating around you, that mountain ever looming above you – but this pause on your progress is only a pause on the surface, for beneath it – shaping and fashioning- destiny is taking place – you may not see it; you might not even feel it; but the Incubator is working, and in the breath of a moment – you TOO will emerge into the new reality, in which you were destined to live.

“The LORD was with Joseph and he prospered.” (Gen. 39:1)

Zēkē's Blunder: The Simplicity of the Gospel Story

Zēkē (pronounced with long “ee”s) got in trouble the other day. Oh yes – my perfectly behaved little (well, compared to other dog breeds) rambunctious, 12 pound, straggly-haired Maltese, did something he knew he wasn’t supposed to do.

If any of you own or are acquainted with toy breed dogs, or even cats (sometimes it’s difficult to tell the difference between the two), then, you know that, to which I am referring, when I describe their natural tendency – to “burrow” – a process of digging, and scratching, and sinking deeper and deeper into the folds of their fabric of choice, creating a “nest,” either on the sofa, chair, bed, blanket, or wherever it is they decide to lie down, in order to make their designated “bed” “just right” for their nap. Consequence of such a tendency: scratched and ruined furniture. Such is the habit of my two little Maltese, but most especially with the male: Zēkē.

Now, most of the furniture in the house is “dog-safe;” that is, they’re “dog-used.” We’ve had these chairs and couches for years, “pre-worn” by previous pets, stained by past “food incidents” from guests and family alike – furniture I’ve literally “grown up” on, and furniture we’ve decided not to replace, due to the presence of animals in the house. However, there is this ONE chair – just ONE in the house – the Great Leather Chair,– a high back overstuffed chair with rich/gorgeous walnut brown leather, the “reclining glory,” Dad’s weekend throne, on which he props his feet and releases the cares of the workweek for hours of uninterrupted rest. Oh yes – we bought this ONE new chair for Dad, a gift we, my Mom and I, lovingly and excitedly gave him for his birthday one summer as our special treat for him and him alone; and we trained the dogs not to even TOUCH this chair, for obvious reasons. After all, they have all the other couches and sofas in the room, but THIS one was for Dad, and Dad only.

We were so pleased with how well the dogs minded this new rule. They did great! We placed a towel on the seat of the chair initially, just in case they had some issues in learning the new limit, and we did have to use minor disciplinary actions the first couple of weeks of ownership – but in the end, the dogs finally understood: this was “Dad’s Chair,” and they were not allowed to partake of its leisure. Period.

Years went by without an incident. The reclining beauty remained untouched, grandly situated in the corner of the room – our crowning jewel of the living area…until one day – the unthinkable happened.

I was busily working on my computer at the dining room table, which faces the living area, when I heard this unusual sound – one I had never heard before. I couldn’t make out what it was at first. It started out slowly {{{rip...rip...rip...}}} it was muffled, deep, thick…its’ speed gradually increasing…{{{rip, rip, rip, rip}}} and then, the “dawning of understanding” sank into my gut with a sickening thud! {{{rip, rip…rip, ripripriprip}}} It was the sound of tearing leather! I shot up from my seat in angered dismay, and lo and behold - Zēkē had decided to make his “nest” on the forbidden chair of glory!

“Zēkē! NOOO!!!!!” I felt time stand still – there he was, claws embedded in the beautiful elegance of walnut-stained luxury, and my legs and arms were encased in “Dream’s Lead,” that heaviness that weighs one down during the stress of a nightmares’ climax, preventing either escape or sprint at desired velocities. Zēkē’s eyes shot up in surprise at this sudden outcry, then his head lowered, ears drooped, tail tucked – he knew he was in for it. I desperately ran over to the chair, whisking up the cowering mutt, hoping against hope that maybe… (sigh) only to discover that the damage had already been done. The glory of “Dad’s throne” – ruined.

Zēkē spent the next space of time outside on the dark patio, left to lie on the chilling/hard cement in the waning hours of summer evening’s light, dejected in the cold, rather than comfortably content on a warm, soft, friendly-lit sofa. Chin woefully on the ground, Zēkē gazed sadly at the backdoor, not knowing when (or if) his Momma was going to come and rescue him from his lonely plight. (For any of you that know Maltese, you also know that solitary confinement is their worst possible predicament). And there he lay for, what seemed to him an eternity, ruing his current, “disastrous” situation.

I couldn’t help but chuckle at how this story seemed so familiar…the “One Chair” among an abundance of others – the One, from which a dog could learn the “knowledge” of “good and evil” (or the difference between a “Mean Mommy” and a “Nice Mommy” in Zēkē’s case). With a quick switch of time, setting, and characters, you could easily see the story of the Garden of Eden, and the Fall of Adam and Eve. Adam’s apple is still falling; even the animals are subjected to the fate of man’s sin. Why else would a dog disobey his master, after learning, knowing, and being forbidden to do the very thing his “sinful” nature insisted he’d do?

And what does sin bring us in turn? We never get away with it; not really. No matter how hard we try. In the end, it gets us left outside, in the cold, away from the inner warmth of fellowship and embrace with the Lord, doomed to remain under sin’s curse: death and disease.

But there IS a redemptive plan! The key to redemption: repentance and forgiveness.

Just when Zēkē thought he’d never come back inside, the backdoor opened! Ears perked, head raised in hopeful, albeit hesitant, expectation, Zēkē looked at me wishfully, as I stood in the doorway with hands on my hips. “Well, what do you say? Are you ready to come back in?” With a pitiful grunt, Zēkē slowly turned over onto his back, striking an “I surrender!” pose (i.e. falling on his back, baring his tummy with legs straight up in the air) – to which I responded by picking him up, carrying him inside, and receiving his repentant kisses all over my nose, chin, face, and fingers.

Likewise, SomeOne came to get US from the outside! The Law shut the door on us, leaving us out in the cold, a place that we deserved. But the door reopened regardless – and there stood Jesus. Jesus wasn’t satisfied with leaving us out to be cold and lonely, even if our sin justified such a state. He didn’t want His Beloved to have to stay separated from what He had intended for her in the first place: union. He came to us, and will carry us back inside, safe in His arms, if we’ll let Him by striking our “surrender” pose, acknowledging our guilt, and receiving His forgiveness and reconciliation.

And redemption gives us an interesting ending. Our relationship becomes stronger than it was at first! From that night forward, Zēkē became irrevocably attached to me! You wouldn’t think that he, having received discipline for his wrong committed, would react in such a way, but this was precisely the case! It was as if he decided that his Momma was his best friend because she laid down the law and enforced punishment for the boundaries crossed. Or was it because I opened the door and relieved his “suffering”? Either way – his affection for me only intensified after the incident’s conclusion.

A redeemed relationship is an even sweeter one than what it was in the first! A redeemed relationship wipes away tears, comforts and relieves pain and shame, and brings a healing bond that strengthens the union between the parties involved. It’s a union that understands the knowledge of “good” and “evil,” deciding that the former is far better than the bitter taste of the latter, and it affords a deeper appreciation of the gift of what this “good” truly is.

I know – this is a simple story; it’s the story of a dog that disobeyed, received disciplined, and then was later reconciled. But sometimes stories like this help us see, even in the simplicity of the day to day, what Christ’s love for us really is: it’s simple; but by far the most profound love imaginable.

Hope you enjoyed today’s story.

The Purpose of Psalms

As you may have noticed, some of my blogs are not really articles, but are poems, brief thoughts, or are phrases. These shorter entries are my "Psalms," written on days when I really have very little to say, but a lot to mean.

There are some days in our lives where we are worn down, exhausted from the stimulations and chaos of life's essence, not that some of the stimulations are not very good, in fact, many times they are extremely good - but you can become overwhelmed with everything...these are the times when a few words are all you have to express the voice of your heart, a voice that has a lot to say.

This is EXACTLY what David was doing when he was writing his Psalms (in the REAL book of Psalms). You look at the situations, from which the songs were written, and find that they were varied from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows in David's life - the times in his life when he was literally overwhelmed with emotion (high and low) as he handled whatever it was he was facing. All he could do was utter phrases of praise or lament, sometimes in verse, other times in prose - but all of which were heavy with "Selah" meaning (compilations of thoughts intended to be "soaked on" for full appreciation).

This is the intent, purpose, and reason for my "psalms." They are being written during periods in my life, in which I desire to say something, overflowing with pensive emotions and contemplative thoughts, but have very little to say in articulation. My hope is that you also "soak on" the phrases I write - apply them to whatever it is that life has thrown at you, both wonderful and horrific, and be encouraged by what the Spirit may speak to your heart from these brief "Selahs" I've posted.

When God is in Control

(Please read "The Purpose of Psalms," May 9, 2010, for background information)

When God is in control – we can be at rest
When God is in control – we can stand steadfast
When God is in control – we can laugh unabashedly
When God is in control – we can cry unashamedly
When God is in control – we can be confident and bold
When God is in control – we have something, on which to hold
When God is in control – our tears will not be wasted
When God is in control – our dreams are secure, untainted
When God is in control – our goals may have to change
When God is in control – our circumstances will shift and wane
When God is in control – evil may roar and shriek
When God is in control – the enemy will scream, but in defeat
When God is in control – the “wait” is long and hard
When God is in control – patience must be our guard
When God is in control – our hearts will be tested and tried
When God is in control – our strength will be purified
When God is in control – our wills must be surrendered
When God is in control – our desires must be fettered
When God is in control – the “good” will “win the day”
When God is in control – our sins are washed away
When God is in control – He’s always in control

Our Eyes are Watching You

(Please read "The Purpose of Psalms," May 9, 2010, for background information)

Our Eyes are Watching You
(ref. 2 Chron. 20:12 ESV)

The dust is stirred, the eyes mist: our eyes are watching You
Throats constrict, emotions rise: our eyes are watching You
Disappointments, pain, the gray areas of life: our eyes are watching You
Joys with sorrows, contentment with dismay: our eyes are watching You

Mundane to excitement, sameness to change: our eyes are watching You
What we thought was true, vain hope it seems: our eyes are watching You
Denial to fury, stricken, we resist: our eyes are watching You

Sirens roar, fires blaze: our eyes are watching You
Anger perishes, surrender claims: our eyes are watching You
Hope against hope, though hearts waver: our eyes are watching You
Standing, believing, if faith proves true: our eyes are watching You

For You, our one constancy amid life's craze: our eyes are watching You

"I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end He will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God." (Job. 19:25-26)

In the Blink of an Eye

I had a job. I was the official “cat-sitter” for my neighbor’s delightful, unnaturally personable, and loving Bombay cat, Felix. Felix dropped into our lives less than a year ago, after being dumped at the neighborhood park, most likely because of his INESCAPABLY loving, attention-demanding, and outgoing personality! Felix was MORE than your typical cat: he was a “dog” –cat, coming to you when you called (with tail waving sky-high above him), playing with you on cue, and walking with you wherever you went; he would even go so far as to pounce upon you from behind, grabbing your leg with all fours and letting you drag him, demanding that you pet or play with him more. He had his toys, his treats, his “bed” to sleep on (i.e. the master bed); but his favorite toy was a “brave” little thumb, on which he could gnaw, if you dared to give him such a liberty. There wasn’t a moving object he did not like, turning even the fiercest cat-haters into Felix-adorers. After only a few weeks, Felix became our street’s designated “mascot.”

Aside from his “parents,” I was one of Felix’s favorites. Every time I walked down the street, he inevitably would come bounding up out of nowhere, meowing with delight, and “asking” me (in his way) to be held, curling up his back as he stood at my feet, expectantly. Of course, I always obliged, and would sweep him up under his belly, carrying him with or without mail in hand, an obstruction he never seemed to mind. He’d purr ever so loudly in sheer contentment, rubbing his face in my hand, on my neck, or even against my cheek. Sometimes, I would prolong my mail “trips” to the end of the block, taking an extra moment to sit with him on the curb or porch, just holding him, letting him rub his face against mine as he pleased, receiving his (albeit, rough) licks on my neck and hands, and wince as he gnawed on my thumb while we both watched the leaves blow through the trees.

For 7 months, Felix and I shared a unique “mail-bond,” so much so that I was later given the delightful “job” of “cat-sitting” while his owners were away. Yes- this cat LOVED people SO much that he had to be “cat-sat” if he was ever left alone! It was a chore that I didn’t mind; more a privilege than a chore, if you ask me! We’d snuggle on the sofa watching Animal Planet; he’d chew on my fingers and wrestle with my shirt sleeves (when my fingers had had enough “play-time”); we’d “groom” each other (i.e. I would comb his hair with my finger tips and he’d “respond” by licking my face and neck –affection I enjoyed “in theory,” but received begrudgingly…have you ever felt the toughness of a cat’s TONGUE?!); finally, we’d nap together, with Felix either curling up beside me, with his head resting atop my leg, or upon my lap, cradled in almost a fetal position, his head against my breast, leaning back against my arm. And every day when I’d come home from playing, watching, or sitting with Felix, I’d giggle a girlish chuckle of glee, and proclaim to Abba, “Thank You for such a WONDERFUL gift!”

*****

Felix died today; hit by a car in an alley sometime during the wee hours of the morning, at the crack of dawn…his limp body later found carelessly tossed in the dumpster (out of which he was promptly removed).*

Why? Why do things like this happen? Why is it that those shimmers of hope during tough times, life’s LITTLE joys, which we so hungrily receive with relief, gasping our gratitude for the precious goodness they exude; why is it that they seem to be so viciously, heartlessly, stripped from us in the blink of an eye? We SCREAM through our anger and our tears, “It’s not FAIR! It’s not RIGHT! It’s not…GOD!”

…and we’d be right…the Bible says that, “all good things come from the Lord,” (ref. 1Tim. 4:4) and that it is, “the enemy, who comes only to steal, to kill, and to destroy…” (Jn. 10:10a). It’s small comfort in the face of the grotesque reality of our situations. “What gives?” We ask. Can’t we have just ONE thing be “alright” in our lives?

You know what I’m talking about…the adage, “When it rains it pours,” rings all too true in life circumstances that we’ve all faced. Perhaps, with you, you’re going through a divorce, but you have this one ice cream shop that has your favorite ice cream and your favorite seat next to the window that faces a beautiful park with giant shade trees, a little respite to which you can escape from your own cruel reality. You drive up to that familiar parking spot, only to discover that the shop has closed, and the park it faced is all dismembered, the trees cut down, the lot under construction for a new shopping center. Or, you just lost your job, but you at least have that one consolation: the joy of sitting in your easy chair at home, watching your favorite sport or sitcom while you relax and drink your coffee or iced tea. You pull up the driveway, looking forward to putting this day behind you, only to find that your home was broken into, your furniture vandalized, and the TV stolen. What gives? Why can’t these LITTLE things be left alone? They’re little, seemingly unimportant in the whole scheme of things. God: can’t You at LEAST leave THESE alone?

Christ didn’t make any excuses for the hardships we face in this world. As a matter of fact, He promised…PROMISED that, in this world, we WOULD have trouble (ref. Jn. 16:33). Sometimes in life, things just happen! Tragedies occur; friends and loved ones, both human and non, die; losses are incurred; griefs abound. Such is the consequence of living in a fallen world. Things just happen as a result of sin and death; it’s just life. Christ didn’t give us the false hope saying we could prevent all these things from happening while we wait for His return. No. What He DID give us is the TRUE hope that EVEN IF the bad and the ugly occur in our lives, He has the last say to it all.

“Take heart! I have overcome the world!” (Jn. 16:33b)

“I Am Your Vindicator, Your Redeemer. I am Your Very Great Reward.”
Job. 19:25 AMP; Gen. 15:1 KJV)

“I am Your Comforter, Keeper.” (Isa. 51:12; Ps. 121:5)

“I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Heb. 13:5)

“I will wipe away every tear from your eyes.” (Rev. 21:4)

Awful events happen; joys of all sizes and calibers may be stripped from us at a moment’s notice. But EVEN SO; EVEN if that ice cream shop shuts down, EVEN if your easy chair has to be thrown away, EVEN if your pet or “animal friend” dies, God promises to BE there to help you THROUGH the loss, to HEAL the hurt, and to restore the time. What a glorious hope!

A hope that promises that, even if Felix died all too soon, and the joys we had were short-lived, the Lord will give me joy in his memory and give me OTHER joys that I may never have experienced had he lived longer. A hope that promises that, even though your traditional respite “sanctuary” is no longer there, God will give you another respite that may be even better, one you’d never have found had you continued to go to the old one. A hope that promises that, even while you try to mend and rebuild what was vandalized; new friendships could be formed as a result of your experience, while you find a BETTER TV with a BETTER sound system, and a more comfy chair than the one you lost (all for a ridiculously low price, to boot!).

God is like that…with God, you get redemption. And redemption, my friend, is sweeter. Redemption says, “I’m not only going to restore the things you’ve lost, I’m going to recompense you for the grief you suffered because of it…” Recompense literally means to “re – compensate.” In other words: restore the loss AND reward/repay for the trouble of it!

“Yet if (the thief) is caught, he must pay sevenfold, though it costs him all the wealth of his house.” (Prov. 6:31)

Sevenfold Redemption comes in ways you couldn’t POSSIBLY imagine! It’s God’s way of rubbing the enemy’s face in his own defeat. Examples of redemption? Look throughout ALL of Scripture! Joseph loses his inheritance and his family. His redemption: he not only gets his family back, but he inherits the wealth of the world! (ref. Gen. 37-50). Ruth loses her husband, her homeland, and her livelihood. Her redemption: she regains another godly and strong husband, becomes mistress to the estate of the wealthiest man in the region, and becomes the mother of kings, including the King of Kings, Jesus Christ! (ref. Ru. 2-4). Job loses everything, from wealth, to children, to health. His redemption: double the wealth, double the children, and double the health and long life! (ref. Job. 1-2; 42:12)

This is God’s promise as His answer and hope for overcoming the world. It means that God has the last laugh, that God is there to comfort while we go through the loss, and He is there to restore to us new joys in sevenfold proportions to make up for it, as well.

I had a job; and Felix was my friend. And though both are gone, and the tears have been shed, I know that God will restore both to me, in new ways, ways that will restore to me that little girlish chuckle of glee that proclaims once again, “Thank You for such a WONDERFUL Gift!” even if that chuckle is accompanied with a lone tear of thoughtful remembrance.

*Felix was killed the morning of April 9, 2010, a Friday, between 6:30 and 7:30AM. He was buried in his owners’ backyard on Sunday morning, April 11, 2010.

My Story (Revised)

(I have just made a discovery that those, who were interested in "My Story," rightfully went to the said blog entry. However, the posted "My Story" from Dec. 2006 is outdated, now 4 yrs. old and my illness journey has had many turns since then. Thus, a new "My Story" is in order, and I will make the adjustments as necessary, considering that a) we know a lot more about my illness now, and b) a lot more has happened since the beginning of this blog. So - here is "My Story," again, which is very similar to the first, but updated and revised where needed. Enjoy!)

For the past 8 years, I have endured a traumatic cycle of "systems" failures. In the spring of 2002, I suffered a near fatal bout with food poisoning, E. Coli, that went undiagnosed, then misdiagnosed, and the delay of treatment and the mistreatment resulted in digestive system failure. In the process of recovery from this predicament, I entered into another long season of illness in 2004-2005, with the failure of my adrenal glands and the malfunctioning of my endocrine system as a whole. Following a miraculous rebound from this somewhat frightening experience, I entered into yet another process of perseverance in health crisis; the summer of 2006, both my immune and endocrine systems, once again, fell into rapid decline, with the thyroid and adrenal glands being the main causes of concern. My recovery from this "crash" (as we began to call them), was slower and in stages; and when I finally began to reach a functional level of "normalcy" by summer 2008, I was blind-sided by yet another relapse (or "crash"), which lasted almost an entire year - this last one being the most severe symptomatically, most life-threatening, and has been the most difficult to overcome.***

What is this strange ailment???? It's called "Adrenal Insufficiency," (see update below) more specifically "cortisol resistance," in which my body neither absorbs, nor properly uses, the hormone cortisol. For those with some medical background, it's akin to Type 2 diabetes, except, instead of the pancreas and insulin being the targets of malfunction, this involves the adrenal glands and cortisone. It took 7 and a half yrs. of my illness to finally "nail down" an official diagnosis, especially since there were many complications that occurred as a result, in addition to the fact that this condition mimics a wide array of autoimmune illnesses and diseases.

Unfortunately, with the nature of my illnesses being somewhat unique (and rare), the discovery of the diagnosis was extremely difficult for medical professionals. Thus, throughout these seasons of sickness, I have endured unbearable abdominal and bodily pain, unrelenting nausea and disorienting dizziness, oppressive fatigue and muscle weakness, all under the scrutinizing eye of disgruntled, baffled, and sometimes judgmental physicians (with the exception of 2 or 3 God-sends), who could offer little relief or answers except, on occasion, their somewhat degrading opinions and humiliating advice.

The prolonging hours of suffering thrust me into pressing-in to discover the truth of the Word of God. I knew and loved the Lord, but never in the capacity that I could have possibly imagined until I faced these trials of faith. His Word is Truth. If the Bible says God is good, then God is good! If His Word says that He will never leave me nor forsake me, then He is here with me in my suffering. If He says that He will walk me through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, then that is exactly what He is going to do. I have come to the understanding that even if He doesn't answer my prayers the way I thought He would or should, it doesn't mean that He hasn't. In fact, God is always speaking, always listening, always persevering with us. We just have to come to the place where we can trust that He is Who He says He is, regardless of where we are or what we're going through. God is still the same; He doesn't change. When all else falls away, He is our Stay.

***This last crash was the most painful and critical, lasting from Aug. 1, 2008 to June 18, 2009, in which I was in varying stages of grave incapacitation, including quarantine (for safety). June 18th was when I left my wheelchair and began the hard road to rebuilding my body in every area, retraining it to literally do what bodies do naturally (digestion, compensation of weather changes, adjustment to different "energies" of different social exposures, among others). This rebuilding has been slow and arduous, and by the Fall of 2009, I had plateaued. On Dec. 3, 2009 - I received prayer for my illness, and have sense made leaps and bounds in my progress of rehabilitation. Now, though still on medication, I am making higher/quicker climbs out of the "pit," not quite back to normal, but able to do what others might say is impossible to do with my medical history and status. Who knows? Maybe God is making a "wonder" out of me after all - all for His glory, Amen?

"It is my pleasure to tell you about the miraculous signs and wonders that the Most High God has performed for me. " (Dan. 4:2)

(New update posted Jan. 2011: Spring 2010 - we discovered that the Adrenal Insufficiency was being caused by Lyme Disease, contracted when I was a child that directly attacked the adrenal glands. This immediately resulted in different minor, semi-major health issues that progressed in severity throughout my preteen-teen years, yet went discarded and overlooked as anything serious until the food poisoning incident of 2002, in which the adrenal crises began to occur. Having found the root of the ailment, I have begun treatment that has dramatically improved my energy and strength, which I have not experienced in years. Again, I am still on medication for pain and endocrine support, but with the root discovered, a mostly normal life is on the horizon!)

Blog Etiquette: a request from the Author

To those, who wish to post a comment (which I warmly welcome and GREATLY appreciate):

Recently, I have received several comments (all by "Anonymous" posters), which have varied in content: some have been advertisements, others have made little sense, and a few have been extremely inappropriate.

A request: from this point on, I request that any reader, wishing to post a response, would also leave some kind of name or personal identification, so that I know you are a legitimate reader making a comment as a response to your reading. Otherwise, I will be obliged to delete the comment, in the best interest of my readers, this blog, and what it represents.

Thank you kindly.
Jenness

The Death of a Dream

I dreamed: “I was going to be this…all my life, I wanted to become…I used to be…there was a time in my life when…but - then life happened...that person, who dreamed…is dead.”

No no – the person of your past, the dreamer, the world changer – that person never died. Life doesn’t kill your dream; choices you’ve made don’t destroy who you were destined to become. On the contrary – life MAKES your dream come to pass, but only if you don’t give up on it.

“But my decisions, my mistakes – I don’t deserve to be the man/woman I wanted to be. It could never happen to me now!” False.

In reality – none of us deserve ANYTHING: life, dreams, joy, love – but we are GIVEN them freely in Jesus. And His price that He paid – His death AND resurrection: THIS makes those dreams we had ours for the taking. They’re already bought and paid for – and no one can take them away from us – except ourselves.

The enemy will lie and steal and attempt to make us believe that our dreams are forever lost in a whirlwind of mistakes and circumstances –his strategies never change – lies are still lies, which means that there is an opposite to those lies: there is a truth. If the enemy says you can’t, then you can; if the enemy says it’s impossible, then in reality – it IS possible. All things are possible in Jesus – but do you want it? It’s there for you: waiting for you to seize it. Life hits, and when it does, it hits hard – but it CANNOT take away your destiny – only YOU can if you decide to believe a lie. DON’T believe the lie. Reach out and take what is yours – your dream, your vision, your passion of old is now seasoned with the fragrance of trials and disappointments, the crushed petals of life’s troubles – these become the foundation and aroma for the dream you always had, the person you always wanted to become – that joyful life you intended to have from the days of your youth, the happiness and fulfillment of being the person you saw yourself becoming – that IS who you can be – in fact, that person in your dream is you after you’ve OVERCOME the struggle you see before you now.

Your dream is in your future – that dream is not dead; it’s only sleeping – go and awaken your dream.