My Story

In response to a question posed by one of the comments "What difficult circumstances have you learned to rest in?":

For the past four years, I have endured a traumatic cycle of "systems" failures. In the spring of 2002, I suffered a near fatal bout with food poisoning, E. Coli, that went undiagnosed, then misdiagnosed, and the delay of treatment and the mistreatment resulted in digestive system failure. In the process of recovery from this predicament, I entered into another long season of illness in 2004-2005, with the failure of my adrenal glands and the malfunctioning of my endochrine system as a whole. Following a miraculous rebound from this somewhat frightening experience, I have now entered into yet another process of perseverance in health crisis; this past summer of 2006, both my immune and endochrine systems, once again, have been marginalized.

Unfortunately, with the nature of my illnesses being somewhat unique, the discovery of diagnoses have been extremely difficult for medical professionals. Thus, throughout these seasons of sickness, I have endured unbearable abdominal and bodily pain, unrelenting nausea and disorienting dizziness, oppressive fatigue and muscle weakness, all under the scrutinating eye of disgruntled, baffled, and sometimes judgmental physicians, who could offer little relief or answers except, on occassion, their somewhat degrading opinions and humiliating advice.

The prolonging hours of suffering thrust me into pressing in to discover the truth of the Word of God. I knew and loved the Lord, but never in the capacity that I could have possibly imagined until I faced these trials of faith. His Word is Truth. If the Bible says God is good, then God is good! If His Word says that He will never leave me nor fosake me, then He is here with me in my suffering. If He says that He will walk me through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, then that is exactly what He is going to do. I have come to the understanding that even if He doesn't answer my prayers the way I thought He would or should, it doesn't mean that He hasn't. In fact, God is always speaking, always listening, always persevering with us. We just have to come to the place where we can trust that He is Who He says He is, regardless of where we are or what we're going through. God is still the same; He doesn't change. When all else falls away, He is our Stay.