The Worst of Times are the Best of Times

One of the things I have learned in this process of illness is that many times, the best of times are actually in the worst of times, though circumstances and emotions claim otherwise. The worst of times, both emotionally and circumstantially, I have come to discover, are the seasons in which the grace for doing what you’ve been doing begins to lift, and you reach this unbearable point of breaking, screaming, “I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE!” It is your lowest point emotionally/spiritually/mentally/even physically…but it is one of your best moments as well.

What do I mean by “the grace.” God gives us the grace to persevere and/or do whatever it is He has required us to do whether that be performing one’s daily activities, fulfilling one’s responsibilities, or going through a trial of some kind, with a strength and tenacity that we don’t understand and could never claim as our own.. Grace is His strength and mercy that empowers us to continue to accomplish tasks, bear fruit, and maintain a positive outlook and/or our faith in His goodness, which, to an observer (and even ourselves), appears ridiculous and impossible.

That’s why, many times, you will find people doing these great feats, enduring incredible adversity, yet functioning; not just surviving, but actually somehow living, and with gladness. So you marvel, “Wow! How in the world can you do all that? How can you raise 6 boys and suffer from chronic fatigue and hormonal imbalances? How can you continue to smile and be joyful following a painful divorce and the sudden death of your son? How in the world can you run a nonprofit ministry that continues to grow, be an active leader in you church, and serve and love on countless needing people throughout the REGION, and yet still be a caretaker of a critically ill child at home?” Quite frankly, they can’t! Not on their own. They are only able to beat incredible odds because they are walking in the grace the Lord has given them.

But there comes a point when the grace begins to wane. You don’t know when this point will be until, all of the sudden, your ability to cope and do what you’ve been doing dissipates. You find yourself becoming increasingly weary of the process. Now, this is not to say that you won’t have ups and downs emotionally throughout the process with the grace. We are emotional beings, and we will grow weary in the battle from time to time, but the Lord is faithful to give us His sufficient grace that lifts us out of our “hole” and places us on our feet again to continue fighting the good fight and running the race. I’m not talking about these vacillating moments of weariness throughout the ordeal. I’m talking about a progressive, wearing sense, that starts as a quiet whisper in your spirit, an ever so small flicker of a thought, but gradually, the whisper becomes louder, more and more noticeable..from whisper, to mutter, from mutter, to statement, from statement to directive, from directive to a shout. That feeling of, “…I….can’t…do…this…” It is these times that I am referring to…these are best/worst of times.

The grace is waning; it suddenly occurs to you that what you’ve been doing, you just can’t do much longer…you’re tired, you’re feeling this closing in claustrophobic sensation, a sinking, trapped imprisonment crouching in, where all you want to do is curl up in a fetal position and hide from life, hide from the circumstance or problem, stop everything and bury yourself in the ground.

What makes matters worse…you know you can’t. You can’t run away from an illness that is ransacking your body; you can’t just pull the plug on your mother/fatherhood responsibilities. You can’t stop working at that job that is providing for your family…you can’t stop, but oh! You desire it. You wish it would all disappear, vanish, be done, pinch me and wake me up from this nightmare. If only life could be solved with a wish to a magic genie and poof! The trial is gone!

Dear reader, this is the point when it seems there’s no light at the end of the tunnel, and actually, the end of the tunnel is closer than you can imagine. The grace is lifting because the Lord is getting ready to reposition you from doing what you’ve been doing. His all sufficient grace was to get you through the valley, but not to leave you in the valley. His grace was like the manna in the desert, miraculous provision to get you through the wilderness, but the manna ceases once you cross into the Promise Land (ref. Josh. 5:12). The Lord is “weaning” you off the grace He’s been providing because you are about to make a transition to a new place in your circumstance, in which you won’t need that grace anymore.

Now, I can’t tell you when that transition will be or what it will look like: sometimes it means making changes in your schedule to operate in the level of grace the Lord is providing. Other times, it might be that you make some other changes, such as switching to a different doctor, or becoming more involved in church activities. It could also possibly mean that the Lord is about to do a miracle in your life, and deliver you completely. We don’t know what the change will be, but rest assured, a change is coming and will be sooner than you think.

Know this: while you are in the transitional period, the tears will continue fall and increase in number, your tension will keep rising, you will feel as though your emotions will burst and shatter, and you will start to believe that you have never in your life been in so much agony as at this moment in time. But don’t lose heart! This worst time in the season is your best time in the season…because it means you are at the nearest point to the end of the season than you've ever been before! A breakthrough is right around that corner; and once His grace ceases, you will have emerged victorious.

The Joy of Tribulation

Hello friends! I have had a very interesting time the last several weeks, and I wanted to share a little bit of the process, which the Lord has so graciously invited me to be apart of.

Some of you may or may not know, but about 3 weeks ago, I relapsed, meaning I had an adrenal/Addisonian crisis, which has sent my body spiraling downward into a hole. It's been a roller coaster of crisis intervention, medicine, narcotics for pain, etc., but the Lord sustained me and kept me from having to go back into the hospital! As of this week, I think I'm having a little bit of a turn around, but it's a slow arduous process.

At any rate, what the enemy would have meant for harm, the LORD has been turning around for good! I have been AMAZED at the Lord's sweet tenderness in these low places of suffering and tribulation! And this is the insight that I want to share with you, because what the Lord does for one of His afflicted ones, He does for ALL of us!

Many of us know this familiar passage:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (Jms. 1:2-4)

Now, the initial interpretation of this passage is exactly what it's talking about -we can consider it pure joy when we face hardships because the Lord is fashioning His character in us, He is completing His work in us, and He is preparing and equipping us for the calls that He has placed on our lives, so that we will be "full and complete, lacking nothing." Lacking nothing! Think about that! No lack, no need, no desire unfulfilled. In essence, the tribulation will expedite the process of you coming to a place of COMPLETE and TOTAL fulfillment in Christ, in your heart, and in your life! What an INCREDIBLE promise.

But there's another joy, which is not specifically stated in this passage that I believe anyone, who has ever faced the deepest valleys and sought the face of God in them, has come to understand, experience, and appreciate...it is the joy of God's Presence in the suffering! To me, this is really what James was talking about! We can count it all joy when we face trials of all kinds, not only because of the character that He is fashioning in us, but more so because of the joy it is to be with Him in His presence in the process! He is near the broken-hearted, and the afflicted He does not despise, but listens and answers their cries! (ref. Ps. 51:17; Ps. 22:24)! For where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty, there is life, there is love, joy, peace, and all His other fruits as described in Galatians 5.

It is not that we have to go through hard times to appreciate His presence; in fact, He makes Himself available to us at all times, giving us complete access to His throne because of Christ (ref. Heb. 4:16). However, there is something extra special, an extra tenderness and kindness that manifests from Him for those, who are suffering...an intimate embrace awaits the broken hearted, the wounded and the afflicted, the weary and distressed. He is our Healer, our Keeper, our Comforter, but you cannot receive comfort if there is nothing to be comforted, cannot be "kept" if there is nothing to keep, and there is no need for healing if there is nothing to heal.

Oh for the joy of being with Him in the process of the pain! Like a mother, who holds, rocks, and soothes her child, who scraped his knee; like a mother hen, who gathers her chicks beneath her feathers, this place of vulnerability and strength under God's wings and in His arms is such a precious gift for us to cherish. My prayer is that you can find this same place with Him during the worst of times, because it is in these darkest and coldest of moments that the light of the Morning Star shines all the more brightly, and His warmth invades and surrounds your heart more prominently.

To Him be the glory and honor and power forever!

Growing in Favor and Stature

(Hi readers! I just wrote an email to a friend, who is also enduring some chronic health issues. However, as I was writing it, it seemed to me that it could serve as an encouragement to others, who are going through rough seasons, not necessarily of illness, but of hard times, trials, difficult places in relationships, finances, or employment. Be encouraged by this Word to all of us, who endure long winter seasons.)


"Little by little, you are getting stronger. One of the things that I have had to look at, when analyzing my overall recovery/rebuilding process, is not looking at the day to day, but the year to year progression of strength. Like this: Feb 2007, I was in critical condition, scaring drs., confined to the premise of my home because leaving it would have set my adrenal glands off and landed me in the hospital (it wasn't a very good season physically), barely any strength to walk around the house, etc., life hanging by a thread. Almost exactly one year later, Feb. 2008, get this, now (this is how the Lord works), I am sitting on a stage singing opera! Yes, I was still weak and had to sit, but I was in a play for crying out loud! Summer 2007, little more strength, but couldn't travel, summer 2008, I'm FLYING to TN! See?

When you have chronic health issues, you have to look at the overall picture. The Lord grew in wisdom and stature and favor with both God and men (Lk. 2:42), He didn't just come to earth, born of Mary all suited up with miraculous power, wisdom, etc...He had to grow from year to year. And if He had to grow in strength, the only perfect Man who ever lived, then by golly, that's how we're going to have to live, ya know?

Anyway, let that encourage you! Look at the years of your (trials), and see how you've come from one year to the next...don't look at the day to day, because that can get a little discouraging for those of us with chronic illness (or struggles), cuz, quite frankly, we can't see or feel hardly any difference...until we adopt God's vantage point of the big picture. Don't only look at the progression of your physical health, though, but also look at the growth of your character and how you've grown in the person that you are! The heartaches and joys we face in the day to day process of suffering are priceless treasures that can only come through trials! That's why James says "count is all joy when you face trials and tribulations" (ref. Jms. 1:2), because what is being molded in you is an incredible treasure chest of wonder and glory from the Father alone! And if it's of God, you know it has to be unimaginably wonderful, right?

Sorry for getting on a little of a soap box, but that just bubbled out of me as I was writing to you! Let this encourage you; it's a Word from your Father, Who loves you and has called you to a divine and awesome purpose. You may not see what it is, but HE does! And it is so so good! He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all you could ever dare to hope ask or think! And those of us, who have been called to a walk a road of suffering are in good company! Look at Job, Joseph, Ruth, Daniel, Jeremiah, Paul, and above all, Jesus! Their lives were comprised of suffering, and their rewards were immeasurably great! In fact, the Lord included their stories in the Bible, His WORD to use as examples to not only help His people fight the good fight of faith, but to also be used in the very book/letter that shows us who He is! WOW! Isn't that incredible?!

You hang in their, friend! I don’t know what God has in store for you, but if you keep walking, keep rejoicing, keep persevering, you will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Blessings, friend, and have a wonderful week!

Jenness"