A Stiff-Necked People

(Hey there: another long one; be blessed!)

Have you ever suffered a “crick” in your neck? You can turn your head in most directions, but when you reach a certain point, you feel this shooting pain that radiates up over your head and down your spine! It can be a most uncomfortable experience. Your range of motion is greatly diminished; in fact, most of your normal daily activities become cares-takingly difficult to perform. Driving is almost frightening!

Usually, these “cricks” are a result of sleeping wrong or suffering an injury. In the former situation, your neck grows accustomed to being positioned in a certain way after several hours of relaxation. Then, when you try to move it, your neck will “scream” out that it would much rather remain in its “new comfort” zone of motion. In the latter occurrence, an injury, your neck healed “wrong,” and when you try to readjust its position, it will not conform to your initiation readily.

For example, when I was in high school, I was a soccer coach/counselor for a church camp. I had a co-counselor helper, who was about my age; young, frisky guy, who really enjoyed being my helper. In fact, he so enjoyed it, and greatly desired that I know his elation, that he began taking action on his flirtatious feelings: for a good ten minutes, he beat the top of my head with a soccer ball until the back of my neck swelled to the size of a small tangerine. After a few weeks, the swelling subsided, but the neck healed out of alignment. Ever since, I have endured a subtle ache in my neck, which worsens on occasion, and prevents me from turning my head full range of motion. Now, about seven years later, I am seeing a chiropractor to crack and tug at a neck, which would much rather remain in its stubborn fixed stupor; how do I know?...after every appointment, I am sore.

Being stiff-necked is very debilitating and is not to most pleasant of experiences. But worse than that, it is usually more painful to get “unstuck,” than it is to get in that “stuck” position in the first place.

Did you know that we can be stiff-necked on a spiritual level too? It’s true. The Lord often called the people of Israel a “stiff-necked people.”

“And the LORD said to me, ‘I have seen this people, and they are a stiff-necked people indeed…’” (Deut. 9:13)

God was not talking about their literal necks. (Can you imagine a large multitude of ancient Hebrews walking around, holding their heads in a fixed position, almost like robots?) They didn’t walk around like that in the natural sense, but to the Lord, they looked like that in His Spiritual eyes.

What does it mean to be “stiff-necked”? The Bible describes it as a state of arrogance, rebellion, stubbornness, and/or hardened hearts. (ref. 2 Chron. 36:13; Neh. 9:16; 29) But people don’t simply inherit such negative qualities. More often than not, people develop a sense of stubbornness and rebellion after years of disappointment, suffering numerous emotional and spiritual injuries that have “healed” into a state of bitterness and resentment. Other times, people grow accustomed to levels of pain or distress; it’s what they’re used to, and to try to change to a new standard of living would be seemingly more difficult than to simply remain in their “comfortable” state of discomfort.

In the case of the Israelites, they had believed for a deliverer for centuries, but once their deliverance occurred, they couldn’t receive the enormity of the blessing because they had grown accustomed to their state of slavery. They argued, resisted, and complained against the very hand that attempted to help them and answering their cries. Why? Because it was more painful for them to change into a mentality of freedom than to simply remain in their mindset of bondage. They were locked in a state of unbelief and stubborn resentment. They refused to change because it was just too hard.

We look at the Israelites, observe all the miraculous signs the Lord had performed on their behalf, and think, “Well, if I were one of them, I wouldn’t have been so unbelieving! What were they thinking?!” But did you know that, at times, we behave no differently then the ancient Hebrews?

Has God ever answered your prayer, and you rejoiced over the victory, but then a new problem arose and you immediately become ensnared with a similar fear and unbelief? “Oh God! You have to intervene in this situation! Oh no! What are we going to do? This is terrible! I can’t handle this!” It’s perfectly natural and common. We can easily forget that the same God, Who came through in one situation, is the same One, Who can come through this one too.

I’ll give you an example: It was late evening, November 14, 2002. I had just undergone a surgical procedure, in which my liver was biopsied and my gall bladder removed. I was resting in my hospital room when I received word that the physical trauma of the surgery had caused a severe adverse reaction causing my endocrine system to recoil into pancreatic shock. Nothing could be done; the likelihood of my stabilization was minute. All anyone could do was wait and pray. Strangely, despite the alarming news, I was unafraid. Engulfed in a warmth of supernatural peace, I silently prayed, surrendered to the Lord’s will, turned my head and went to sleep... I awoke early in the morning of November 15, 2002, to see the relieved and bewildered expression of my doctor peering over my bedside. With a smile on his face, and a sigh escaping his lips, he said, "Well, your pancreas is normal...you're going to be fine..." Over the night, the Lord had visited that hospital room and touched my dying frame to cause it to work as one.

Now-you would think that after a miracle like that, I would be Miss Even Keel in the face of adversity and trials, right? WRONG! The Lord has done many miracles in my body and in my life, but believe it or not, I often pressure up and am so nervous about things that really don’t matter! For example, having to cancel a lunch appointment with a friend, I become afraid of what she’s going to think, “She’ll be offended!” Ridiculous; no different than the Israelites.

But what about the times we have prayed, believed for something that we felt the Lord had laid on our hearts, and we suffered a bitter disappointment because the outcome we were expecting didn’t turn out the way we thought? Then, as if the initial setback wasn’t enough, God approaches us again with a new hope, a new dream or vision, and asks us to believe and expect for this one to come to fruition, too. What would be you’re reaction? If you’re like me…you’d be a little wary…

The Lord has been approaching me to believe and pray for things that are completely out of my “faith comfort zones,” to hope for the impossible, and I am resistant to believe that God actually desires to bless me in this the way that He is promising to. Why? Because I’m stuck. My spiritual neck is sore and stiff from past failures and disappointments when God “didn’t come through” the way I thought He should. I’ve gotten in a bind, where I “healed” in a state of “conventional wisdom;” not to believe for the “irrational.” “I’ve been let down and discouraged too many times, Lord. How can You expect me to expose my heart like that again? Will You really do what You are saying, or is this just another ‘exercise of faith’?”

Yes, at all times, we do have to check ourselves and make sure we are not hearing the voice of our own desires that are inconsistent with God’s will. Moreover, it is extremely important to bounce all things that we believe the Lord is telling us off of our respective spiritual authorities or accountability groups to gain an objective perspective and receive wise counsel. In light of these necessary measures, we are still not exempt from believing God for the impossible.

God desires us to live in a freedom of faith that goes way beyond our comfort zones…and sometimes, bringing us to that place is painful and feels downright absurd. But, by stretching us and popping us out of our comfort zones, as rationally and emotionally painful as it may seem, God is doing something in us that will bring more healing and liberty in our relationship with Him than we could possible imagine.

God does not desire us to be “stuck.” He does not want us to be “stuck” in our emotions, stuck in our livelihoods, stuck in our relationships, or even stuck in our physical bodies. He wants us to be free. This freedom, however, comes with a price. Yes, Christ died to set us free, but we have to receive the freedom He paid for. How? By believing!

“‘Don’t be afraid; just believe.’” (Mark 5:36) “…(for) with God all things are possible.’” (Matt. 19:26)

We have to come into agreement with His will for our lives. If He promises to do an impossible thing, He will do it as we believe Him for it. Christ is our Head; and we are His Body. Our connector with Him is the “neck” of our relationship: our faith. The Body moves with its head in a freedom that is proportionate to the liberty of the neck, or the faith, which connects the two. When our faith is free and flexible with the love of Christ, believing that He will never allow anything to come upon us that we cannot bear[1], nor will bring to shame those, who believe in Him[2], we can expect to receive that, which He has promised. It is only in the times that we harden our hearts and stubbornly refuse to agree with His promise, that we miss His great reward.

Let God “unstick” you; allow Him to stretch and pop you out of your “comfortable faith” in your walk with Him. Believe Him for the things you never dared to believe before. And you will experience a freedom that is beyond your wildest dreams!

“Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]-- To Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever. Amen (so be it).” (Eph. 3:20-21 AMP)

[1] 1 Cor. 10:13
[2] Isa. 49:3

Did I Miss You? (Re-post)

(All righty then. This is a "re-post." Just a little "warning," this one is long. I would recommend that you print it off; it might be easier to read. May it bless you!)

“But, Mom! I don’t want to miss God!” It was Friday night, a muggy summer evening. I was sitting on my couch in my small apartment, dressed for bed, and had been on the phone for over an hour. My eyes were swollen, my face red and tear-stained from several hours of crying. I listened to my parents who, once again, cautiously and tenderly attempted to re-propose the unthinkable idea of me moving back home.

I had heard a distinct Word from the Lord to move from my home state of Texas with my pastor’s family to the beautiful state of Tennessee. The Lord had miraculously opened so many doors for my transition to run relatively smoothly. Within my brief sojourn, I had held a job in an international ministry, began building a community of relationships spanning from downtown Nashville into the small quaint suburbs just south of the city. I was on a praise team, served as an administrative employee to help run conferences all over the area, looking at the prospect of some modeling and radio; I even lived in a beautiful apartment. However, by the time that everything seemed to be set, ready for me to plunge ahead full-throttle into the beginning of a new life, my health began to fail…and quickly[1].

This phone conversation with my folks was one of the many that had begun to develop by the third month of my Tennessean experience. At the time of this transaction, I had already visited several specialized physicians, run a wide variety of tests in a number of hospitals and medical clinics, resigned my positions of employment and volunteer work, and had been “shut-up” in my apartment for several days, lacking the physical strength to leave for more than an hour at a time. Still, I knew that God had called me to this place for a reason! I knew I was supposed to be here until the Lord called me out! I was not going to give in! I would persevere!

“No! God called me here. I know He did! There’s something for me to do here, but it hasn’t happened yet. I’ve only been here four months…” We exchanged a few more words, prayed, and hung up the phone. Although I boldly professed my faith to persevere and “never give up” in my attempts to bat down my parents’ caring notions with “spiritual reasoning,” I knew deep down that my parents were speaking wisdom. I knew that, with the rapidity of my health’s decline, it would be only a matter of weeks before I would be barely able to move home without suffering severe trauma to my already fragile physical state. I knew that I would need the care- taking of my family, who were familiar with my past health difficulties, and who could see my imminent relapse. I knew they were right; I knew that I probably did need to move home, and soon.

I buried my face in my hands…I tried to cry, but no tears came, I was just too tired physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I was at a crossroads of belief. “Oh Lord. I don’t get it…was I wrong; did I just miss You?”

Have you ever come to a place or situation in your life where you felt, in your gut, that you knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that you had heard a word from the Lord; you stepped out in faith, believing His guidance, and, despite all your prayers and supplication, you actions flopped? I think most of us, at one time or another, come to this crossroads of belief, that collision of faith and reason, asking, “Can I even hear from God? Have I just completely lost it?”

Jesus answers our queries by saying, “My sheep hear My voice. And the voice of a stranger, they will not follow.”(Jn. 10:27, 5) I cannot tell you how many times I read that scripture over and over and over when I began to weigh in the decision of staying in Tennessee or moving back home. I knew I had heard from God, and I had followed the path of His leading in blind faith, trusting Him to lead in me in the way everlasting…but the way everlasting took an unexpected turn for the worse. Why did this path turn perilous? Was it because I was disobedient or in sin? Was I not walking in “enough faith” for my way to prosper the way I thought it should?

Before I go any further, I do need to point out that there are times when we do get “off track.” There are times when we harbor an offense, or do or watch something that we know is not “100% right or wrong,” but it is not something, which is pleasing to God or considered a "good witness" of our faith. In addition, and I am going to get in trouble for this one, there are the time that we “forget” to tithe, or do not believe in the Biblical principle. In circumstances such as these, our spiritual ears lose their keenness to hearing the voice of our Shepherd. That is why the Bible says, “Confess your sins one to another,” and, “…first be reconciled with your brother, then bring an offering.” (Jms. 5:16; Matt. 5:24)

It is not for God’s sake that we do this, but for ours! He wants us to hear Him so desperately, but when we start gradually walking away from the “straight and narrow,” we lose our sensitivity to hear His voice. If anything, God’s voice is muddled, and our discernment less clear when we are not right before Him. Therefore, the first course of action is always to come before the throne of grace and ask the Lord, as David did, to search our hearts to see if there be any false way within us. (Ps.139:23-24) If so, we do need to repent so that our relationship with Him will no longer be estranged.

But, what if there isn’t anything “blatantly” wrong? Not that we are ever “perfect,” but what if we have been walking right before God, and He doesn’t correct us when we ask Him? This is the pinnacle of faith, in which I "got stuck.” I cried out to God, threw myself at the Mercy Seat of His Grace, “God if there be anything wrong in my heart, show me and I will confess! I’m ready; let me have it,” and then I braced myself for His chastisement and conviction…but none came. Yes, this was a relief at first, but then I grew puzzled and frustrated. “…um, well…If I’m not ‘off,’ Lord, then…why in the world did You lead me in the way ever-confusing?! This is not what I had in mind when You called me here! I walked out in faith! I trusted You, and now this?!”

Sound familiar? Maybe you stepped out in faith, perhaps you gave an offering as the Lord led you, and then you had to foreclose on your house. Or, you may have ministered to a friend in need in faith that you were sowing seeds of righteousness and blessing him or her in the way that Christ would have done, only to be horrendously betrayed and taken advantage of. “But God! I trusted You! Why have You forsaken me?!” Whether we wish to or not, we have a tendency to place certain expectations on God when we follow Him in faith and act in obedience to His Word. We presume that “all will be well,” and God will reward us for our faithful obedience. True, He will reward us for our obedience; but our reward does not come without a cost.

When God calls us to walk on a road that takes unexpected turns into trials, it isn't always because we are walking in disobedience. Sometimes, trials emerge because we are walking in perfect obedience. Why? The Lord allows us to face adversity with Him in order to draw us into a closer reliance on Him, actually strengthening our faith in His guidance and sharpening our ability to hear His still small voice.

But what about our mistakes? We can be walking in His will, but that does not make us immune from walking without err. Sometimes, we make decisions that are rash, or we take out our frustration on someone else, only to have to go and clean up that mess in addition to the larger problem. I had to apologize several times to my parents when I took out my perplexity on them; you talk about humbling. This even led to additional anxiety, “Oh no. Now I am in sin; now I will miss God for sure! Oh, God help me! Remember that I am but dust…” Then the Lord led me to this verse in Psalms:

“The steps of a man are established by the LORD, and He delights in his way. When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong (stumble), because the LORD is the One who holds his hand.” (Ps. 37: 23-24)

This passage suggests that for those who love the Lord and are making their best efforts to walk in His ways; their steps are established by Him. The Hebrew word for “established” in this passage is Yeqamyâh, which means, “Yahweh accomplishes; makes clear and good; causes to endure; holds, helps, and strengthens.” Also, “delights” (Hebrew: châphêts) is “to be pleased with, to choose, to like someone or something very much.”

In other words, when we do walk out in faith, the very steps we take are steps that God has made clear and good and on a path that He has not only chosen, but with which He is also pleased! Even when the path seems to turn for the worse, God has already ordained the “worse” as good. Isn’t that incredible? We can believe that we hear the Lord even when our acts of faith and obedience do not always reap the kind of results we thought they should. Furthermore, if and when we do fall, make a mistake, “mess up,” or “miss” Him on our walk of faith, we will not stumble because He holds us up with His right hand! Because He is our Shepherd, we never have to fear any evil, for He is with us! Now that is a comforting thought.

This kind of realization has not come easily for me. In fact, even now, I speak it in faith because this path, on which I have walked, quite frankly, has not made much sense to any cognitive reasoning or understanding of faith. To the practical sense, it seems as though I moved to Tennessee just to get sick again and be brought home; sheesh, what kind of a faith is that?! Well, one that believes that God is working all things together for the good of them, who love Him and have been called according to His purpose. No, I really do not know why God called me to Tennessee, although I do have some wonderful memories of my sojourn there. Furthermore, I do not know why He allowed me to have a relapse of illness; but I am learning more about His nature in the midst of my suffering because of it.

Faith is not the substance of things that go our way. It is not evidenced by all of our dreams coming true, or life being full of ease and always making perfect sense. Rather, faith is the substance of things hoped for; a hope that is recognized in the peace shown in an individual’s countenance; it is that inner rest that has this “knowing” that God is good and in control. We do not miss God when we are doing our best to serve Him. We may make mistakes along the way, but we will not “miss” His path for our lives. They are His paths, and He loves His ways that He has set out for us. If He is the One Who holds them and causes them to endure, then our roads to righteousness will never fail, even when we do. God is faithful to keep us on track and hold us up with His mighty right hand. That is what His Word says, and His Word is true and everlasting…His Word will not fail because He will not fail.

Did I “miss” God? Perhaps I made some mistakes along the way. Perhaps, in my attempts to serve Him, I fouled up from time to time. But, did I “miss” Him; let us look at this in the reverse; God never “missed” me. We can trust that, when God is in control, He will make our paths straight. He is faithful to hold us, guide us, and walk us through our lives, especially when they do not make human sense. These are His paths of righteousness that He has designed for us to walk; and with them, He is well pleased, even when we are not. No, the path of righteousness will not always make sense to our expectations; but it will always make sense to His.

[1] The diagnosis for the root cause of my illness is Adrenal Insufficiency, which has taken five years for doctors to finally conclude. However, as are the consequences of such an ailment, if it is not treated properly and immediately when the signs of "adrenal crisis" develop, I will succumb to what we call an "adrenal crash." This means that, in the "crash," I will and have suffer(ed) from a myriad of additional conditions along with adrenal failure, including:

Blood Sugar Abnormalities (associated with the pancreas); Chronic Fatigue (associated with low function of the thyroid); PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome); POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome-associated with the heart); and Gilbert’s Syndrome (dysfunction of the liver).

It is during these "crashes" that I have to treat every affected organ/system in addition to treating the adrenal glands. These crashes are dangerous and take from months to years to "pull out of;" but by the grace of God, I am still here! And I am still making every effort to continually live as incense before my Creator!

Foul Weather Folly

“It is written, ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that proceed out of the mouth of God…’” (Matt. 4:4)

Have you ever experienced a physiological change coinciding with the weather changes? For example, does your migraine tend to flare during a cold front, or do you ever notice moodiness, fatigue when a pressure system (rain) passes through? It’s not uncommon for people to “feel” the effects of the changes in weather. Our bodies consist of organic matter that adapts to its surroundings. That means when you go through a change in environment, your body immediately reacts and makes physical adjustments in your anatomical chemistry to adapt to the change it just experienced.

For example, say you enter into an air-conditioned room; most likely, your skin will produce those chill bumps because it’s cold. But when you exit into the hot and humid outdoors, and your skin begins to perspire. This type of reactive behavior is your body’s way of adjusting your system to keep you “blowing and going” without so much as a hiccup in your physical well-being. The Lord made our bodies so extremely complex and self-sufficient in this way so that we can go about our normal activities without even realizing that our body just went through a major shift to keep us in balance.

However, studies show that the more slender body types have a harder time adjusting to weather changes than those of broader builds. The reason for this is that there is not as much bodily reserve of muscle, fat, and/or fluids to respond to a change of environment. Instead, the slimmer frames have to utilize the tissues of the organs and nervous system to retrieve the energy necessary to maintain a “balance of performance.” In other words, it is far more common for a slender individual to suffer mood swings, migraines, and fatigue during a cold front than the one, who has a larger frame.

One of the ailments that I experience with my illness is adrenal insufficiency. The adrenal gland is generally responsible for responding to stress (your adrenaline rush in exercise or crises), and is a key component in helping your body and mental functions adapt to change. When this gland stops working properly, your body will lose a copious amount of weight regardless of your caloric intake. As a result, I am, unfortunately, far more thin than I would prefer. And, you guessed it, whenever the weather changes, I have a very difficult time with flu-like symptoms and severe fatigue. I just cannot make the physical adjustment for too many environmental changes at one time; I have neither the fatty reserve nor the glandular support for such an exhibition. And it gets pretty frustrating trying to make any plans! At this stage, my energy is so consistently inconsisitent with the weather that I have to check our forecast before I can fill out my calendar!

I told the Lord, “When I pull out of this "crash," I am going to make a conscious effort to put on some weight. This is ridiculous!” Then, the Lord prompted me with this concept.

As it is with our bodies, so it is with our spirits.

Life is full of change! You could lose your job or get a new one. Your kids may get in trouble at school or start participating in more activities, which means that you have to adjust your schedule to attend those events. Your friends get married or you graduate from college. You get pregnant; you move to a new city, or your marriage ends in a divorce. Not all changes are bad, but they are never easy and they all require some type of adjustment.

How do you fair when the seasons of life shift? Do you suffer anxiety or depression? Are your easily gripped with fear when you hear some unpleasant news? When you discover that a close friend has taken advantage of you, are your outraged at the individual or even at God for allowing such a betrayal to occur? “God, how could you do this to me?! You’re supposed to be a loving, merciful, protective Father? Why didn’t you protect me?! Don’t you love me?”

We all have the capacity to react to change in a myriad of ways, and we all can be tossed in our emotions by the waves of life. This is our spirit’s way of adjusting to the new “normal.” But some people fair better with change than others. They are those who are consistent in their faiths; they always seem to have peace about every situation no matter how bleak it may seem. No, they are not void of emotions, but, after all is said and done, you’ll hear that solidarity of heart in their words. These are the people, who say, “Though He slay me, yet shall I trust Him.” (Job 13:15)

What is their secret? How can someone who’s gone through a divorce or has lost her child still retain a joyful countenance? How can the patient, who is withering away with cancer, look up from his hospital bed and proclaim, “The Lord is good! His Love endures forever! I am blessed with every spiritual blessing in Christ Jesus!” Are they faking it? Not hardly. These are the believers who have filled their hearts with the Word of God. They know the Truth of His sovereignty, His nature, and His unending love for them, even in the face of dramatic change. That’s why Christ says that man lives, not on food, but by the Word of God! (ref. Matt. 4:4) Those who eat of His Word will put on all the spiritual mass they need to remain stable during the “weather changes” of life.

The Word of God is spiritual food readily available for our benefit! It is God’s provision for our spirit beings to enhance their capacity so that we can maintain mental and emotional balance in the face of both elations and trials. God did not promise us that life would never change or that it would be easy, but He has given us all that we need to face them in strength, in peace, and spiritual well-being if we will but partake of the nutrients of His Word.

“‘In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.’” (Jn. 16:33)

"Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord..." (1 Cor. 15:58)